Just Chill...

Its the weekend again..and only wishing my baby would be around to spend it with me...woke up this morning with a smile on my face...just to hear your voice in the morning makes my whole day just beautiful..and plus its a Sunday..NO WORK! haha...Wake up at anytime you like!..You're the Boss on SUNDAYS...hahaha...i slept till 10am this morning...hehehe...i'm just such a lazy bitch today...but believe it or not I had the thought to go back to the office to do some work this afternoon...still thinking about it..but i think i'll skip it. Besides i'm at work everyday till saturday..and Sunday is the only time i get off..hehehe..well..i really don't know what i'm writing here today...erm.. let's see what next...*thinking*.......*still thinking*....actually i do have loads to write about...but i really don't know where to start...ah well..forget it..i'm just too lazy today...lol...well i'll be writing soon again i hope..,aaahhhhh I LOVE MY LIFE...hehehe..

Confused...

Have you ever had the feeling where you just don't know what to do next or where to start at? Its strange..the things you do for them and the respect you give them only to find out that you haven't done much at all..or realising that they never even appreciated what you had done for them...fair or unfair? I am so confused at this point...being nice and all that is just not going to get you anywhere for some snobbish arrogant people... It sucks...and I have to live with it for as long as I'm here...hehehe..well the only other option is to leave...get the right thing done or not...you'll still get SCREWED...lol

I guess I've learnt my lesson once again...I have feelings..and so have others..but do you think that the other's will ever appreciate your feelings...BULLSHIT...not even once..when things are good they shut up..when things go bad...they pick on you...its sad...I know I'm probably to playful at times and never serious but HEY ISN'T THAT WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT..IF YOU'RE PISSED DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON OTHERS...why come in to work with a moody face..if you don't feel like working don't even thing about coming in to work...SCREW WORK...lol...If you're not feeling appreciated don't take it out on others and pull them down with you...Just keep it to yourself...CHEEZZ....Nothing is fair in this world..and it never will...and since this has happened..I have told myself to stop being a the NICE PERSON from now on...BEING NICE IS BULLSHIT...I HAVE MY EVIL SIDE...SO...Don't Fucking mess with me...I too can be BAD..wahahahahaha...laters..

IF ONLY

So far so good..no more happenings..lol..anyway, I just read up on my sister's blog today..she doesn't seem very happy and decided to recommend this movie which was also recommended to me by my boss..the title is "IF ONLY"

Its not that OLD of a movie..the actors playing in it are Jennifer Love Hewit and this english dude..forgot his name..but anyway..the movie is about how jenni and this english dude was in a relationship together..and how her boyfriend (the english dude) was always busy working and how jenni had always had time for him no matter what...then one day...it all ended up in a fight and she died in a car crash..then her boyfriend regreted all the times when he was not with her...then the story goes on....and i'm not saying anymore..or else i would just spoil the whole movie...get the DVD and watch it..if you are with your other half..then you MUST watch it with your other half....you will not regret it...i say this movie is the BEST MOVIE so far for couples who are struggling with each other in their everyday lives ....that's it from me now...I hope you'll learn something from it...coz I did and so did my partner..and it will and always be a lesson to remember for as long as we live...."IF ONLY..."

Ada Ada Saja - PART 2

Yes this is part 2...and not that i expected anything as what i posted on my last blog...and it HAPPENED again..lol..

It was a sunday last week, i was spring cleaning the whole house..did laundry in the morning, then by noon i was cleaning up the living room then finally reached my room and GOD knows how much clothes I had to fold...lol just don't have the time to do that when i'm working on normal days...lol..anyway...I was going in and out of the room (for those of you who have not read part 1 you should do so, so you'll understand where this is coming from) and since the knob was already faulty i had to put a plastic card in between the door and the wall to prevent it from self-locking..hehehe...and there i was going in and out of the room..(i really didn't know why i was doing that...) and then *CLICK* the sound of the door locking just as i got out of my room...and i paused to look back at my door only to find that the plastic card that was preventing the self-lock was missing..and i was like ARRRGGGGHHHH NOW WHAT???...well if you are thinking what I'm thinking then YES i locked myself out of my room this time..ooooo i wanted to scream in frustration..(of course i didn't) :P i was like wow..the fun i have when im at home...and this time i'm locked from the outside...ah the irony again...and my mobile phone was inside my room hahahahaha....JUST GREEEAT! i said...so i sat down for awhile trying to calm myself and gathered myself together..took a deep breath...then went to my tool box to get a screwdriver and i started prying at the door again...hahaha..after damaging much of the door knob..it opened..and i quickly removed the bloody door knob...so there we have it ...a HOLE in my room door...need to get a new door knob though, just haven't got around buying one yet....hehehe....me and my adventure's AT HOME...lol...till next time...(i just hope there's not going to be a next time..)sigh...

Ada Ada Saja...

This whole month has been a HELL of a month for me...first scorpions, than centipedes..ah the things that i have to live with...LOL..i thought i'd share with everyone the amazing incident i had when i got locked inside my own room..lol..

It was just this Thursday, 1.30 in the morning, i was about to go to bed..and decided to go visit the toilet before doing so..hehe...and as i reached for the knob of my room door..and twisted it..the door just wouldn't unlock..lol.. i was like "WTF..now what???" of all the things..my door just wouldnt open...i didn't panic or anything..i was just really frustrated about all the things that has been happening to me lately...so i went to my dressing table and looked for something to use to open unlock the door (trying my luck to see if i could be the next McGyver) hahahaha...anyway...found this plastic pen..(it was plastic)...and i tried sticking it into the side of the door where the lock was..(well it was plastic..so plastic breaks if you force it) lol...what was i thinking...it was 1 in the morning..hahahaha...so off the pen went..that didn't work..then i found some paper..and folded it till it was thick enough to slide thru the side of the door (thinking that might work) ...hahaha that didn't work either...so i stood there for awhile...starring at the door...waiting for a miracle to happen...lol...(well of course nothing happened) then i started tihnking about some friends how were living in the area maybe they could help...but when i thought again..how the hell would they be able to come into my house when i'd locked the door from inside...so i was like ah..screw that..so i went back to my dressing table and searched for something...that would help...and then *tadaa* i found this huge safety pin...i was like "EUREKA!!" rush to the door...and slide that pin right thru the door and the door unlocked...hahahaha...*well lets not go into details about the pin..* and i was like thank GOD...or else i wouldn't have to work the next day...so that was my exciting Thursday morning in my bedroom...

Anyway, I am so not expecting anything else to happen after this...its just getting to my nerves now..and I just hope i don't explode anytime soon...hahahahaha...my exciting life alone..:P

My Birthday Blessing...

Yes, I know I haven't posted in a long time..hehe...but I would like to extend my sincere thanks to everyone for such a wonderful birthday they have given me...

At midnight last nite my darling called me and sang a birthday song to me over the phone..that was so touching and sweet. I broke down in tears..*i know i tend to get emotional with stuff like this* just wishing that my baby was with me...but its ok..i have to understand that its for our future...If you do read this baby...thank you for coming into my life...you are such a Blessing to me...always loving you..*kiss*

Then, early this morning just as I stepped into the office, my sister texted me and sang me a birthday song *well in words* too ....then not long after that, mum called and wished me Happy Birthday too...not forgetting my little niece who was trying very hard to wish me Happy Birthday over the phone too..hehehe...mum was telling her what to say.."happy birthday aunty dungdung" *yes i am known as aunty dungdung to my niece..plz don't ask why* and she repeated, "..aaapi....aay..aunty dungdung.." and i went, "Thank you"..and my niece went,"thank you" then i told her that i will be going down this weekend to see her..and she replied, "ok" when i asked her,"how are you?" she repeated after me...lol.."how are you?" hehe..then i answered..."im fine.." and she repeated too..."im fine.." hahaha..such a sweet angel...and that was it...

Then today at work, my colleagues gave me a suprise and bought me a birthday cake and everyone sang together..i almost broke down in tears again..*yes i am very emotional*..never in my life for the past 7 years working with this company did i get a cake...and this is the first time ever..and it just made my day...*SMILES*..I'm so glad that I have great colleagues who care. It really is a Birthday Blessing for me. Thank you so much GOD..

So I just want to take this oppertunity to wish everyone, Thank you for all the wishes and greetings for me today...I love all of you very much..

I think I have another suprise tonight...hehe..but i'm not expecting anything tho....Thank you all...*lots of hugs and kisses*

Sunday Morning

Good morning Sunday...Beautiful as it is...*inhales the fresh air* have you ever woken up in the morning feeling so good about everything? Ever had that feeling? Its just wonderful...another day alive on earth..how Blessed can one be? :-) Its not too hot..the weather is just right...*smiles*..The Olympics is on now...the whole world is watching...hehe...I got excited watching the women's volleyball, hockey and handball just now...just imagine yourself in one of those games participating at the Olympics...you can just feel the adrenalin rushing competing with your opponents...such a great feeling...that's the feeling I'm going thru this morning...its just wonderful...*smiles*..beautiful morning...nothing much to say...its just beautiful..i'm contented..relaxed...I thank God that I'm alive....high...*smiles*

Bleeding...

There's is nothing more hurting than to be away from someone that you care and want to be with for the rest of your life...it hurts and it bleeds right thru your heart...how long more and how much more sacrifices is there that you need to give in too?? I'm bleeding......

The Soul is Longing....

Finally its saturday....It has been quite a rough week for me....nothing seems to be working out the way it should be...well at least in a good and positive way...what should I do about it?? Sigh....I feel empty in my life....its sad...guess I have to find something else to look forward to now...the soul is longing......

The Keeper of the Darkest Secrets.....

Keeper of the darkest secrets, only you know the truth that is in the depths of my soul. The hurt and pain that I am going thru now..it cuts deep into my heart. The only thing you want to be is the perfect friend for everyone in their life. But sometimes it just somehow ends up in a broken trusted relationship. The feeling is unbearable. Why is that so? Why does it always end up this way? I'm broken inside. My heart cannot take it any more. I praised them and respected them and this is what i have gotten in return...and all I only ever wanted to be is a friend....I guess sometimes in life not everyone remembers the good you have done for them only a very rare handful of them does. Its sad and it hurts to see it that way. Sometimes you wish that revenge and unleashing the demon inside is the best option to get back at them. But really what would you get out of it? Ego Satisfaction? Maybe, but don't you think that its just being plain idiotic? The only other way is to forgive and forget what has been done and only be more careful the next time. Thus, I am Blessed to have found you to share my secrets and know that it will remain there forever without even a word spoken. And I know that you will always be there for me....

Accepting changes...

The past 3 weeks have been tough for me. Living alone away from someone that you really love is not easy. Eating on the fact that you only have the time to see him/her once a week..not easy for me to swallow. But looking on the brightside of things..it will only make our love even stronger than before...thus, I have to accept the change in my life today without you....for how long more will this last??

The Dream....

I had the strangest dream 2 nights ago. I was driving in my car and rushing to cross the border before they had closed for the night. On my way there, there was this red honda civic in front of me and hell it was swaying from side to side. Then all of a sudden the car just crashed into something (which i couldn't remember what) and every passenger that was in the car was thrown out. There were like 7 of them all lying dead on the road. The funny thing was I didn't even bother to stop and just drove thru them avoiding each body that was in my way. When I got to the border, everyone had to get out of their car and walk into the immigration office to get their passport stamped. Now this is the wierd part.....as I entered the immigration office, I saw a friend of mine doing a demonstration on how to cook something (which again I can't remember what but it sure smelled damn good)...I was puzzled..lol..I was like ok..immigration and cooking demo..hahahaha interesting...so I got my passport stamped and just sat there watching the cook demo...lol..that's about all that I can remember of my dream...strange isn't it? lol...

Far Away......

When you're attached to someone whom you want to spent your whole life with, it feels empty when their not around you. Sometimes I feel life is so unfair and that we have to live it the way it wants us too. Sacrifices you have to make when your in love is just sometimes too painful to live it. When you make a commitment you have to live with it no matter how difficult it becomes. But life is a challenge which we must take and face everyday of our lives. I guess being far away from you makes our love stronger each day as we cherish each moment when we're together as the time we have with each other is so limited. I wish the time would just stop but life is fair and it will go on as it has been for as long as we live. Being far away from you is never going to change anything as my love for you has anchored in the depths of your soul...So to those of you who are always closed to your love ones, you are blessed. Love them and cherish every single moment with them..you know that we are all just given one chance in our life and that's the life that we are living now....

The Return

Its been awhile since I've last posted anything..hehe...well I thought I should at least write something today since I have like 10 mins before lunch ends...so...here we go... I had a great weekend last week not because of the Jazz Festival which everyone is bragging about but because it was Mother's day. Treated her to a nice Lunch..I hope she was happy.. She's taught me so many things in life and brought me up to be the woman I am today. There's so much more to say like what a Blessing I have to have a mother like her. Sometimes I just wish I could just give her everything in life and I hope that wish will come soon. Every moment spent with her is always cherishing. I can only say one thing and that is I LOVE HER so very much...I have dedicated this song to my Mother and to her only for the rest of my life...the words are just so meaningful...and it is just the perfect song for her...


A SONG FOR MAMA

You taught me everything
And everything you've given me
I always keep it inside
You're the driving force in my life, yeah

There isn't anything
Or anyone that I can be
And it just wouldn't feel right
If I didn't have you by my side

You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were grey
Whenever I was down
You were always there to comfort me
And no one else can be what you have been to me
You will always be you always will be the girl
In my life for all times

Mama, mama you know I love you
Oh you know I love you
Mama, mama you're the queen of my heart
Your love is like
Tears from the stars
Mama, I just want you to know
Lovin' you is like food to my soul

You're always down for me
Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong
Yes you did

And you took up for me
When everyone was downin' me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on

There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me
And say to me I can face anything
And no one else can do
What you have done for me
You'll always be
You will always be the girl in my life

Never gonna go a day without you
Fills me up just thinking about you
I'd never go a day without my mama

Music & Lyrics by Boyz II Men

Her Heart Hath Spoken...

My Knight....
How handsome and brave thou art
The blood of many hast thou slayed
I pray that thine armor may safeguard thee
For thy protection is what concerns thy lady

How my heart longs for thee
To meet the longing of my deepest soul
Each night I wait and wish upon the stars
That thou may cometh forth to call upon thy lady
Only to find that each night ends without thine presence

Do thou O' Knight seek thine lady's secret?
The hidden truth of thee unspoken?
If thus then hope, but speaketh silence
Then in thine heart wilt thou seek thine triumph....

The Wish

Milady oh my
Shall it not be spoken
But nay it could be denied

Awaken from a deep sorrow
By only a whisper
Brushes to this soul

The glitters of your sole uniqueness
That’s an inspirational
Enough to resolve the missing puzzle

I speak no foul
Nor I speak with gladness
As you are bond with another

There I saw you out your window
Watching upon the stars
Your eyes reveal as it shine
Straight to this heart

Screamed of words in silentness
As my love is forbid to yours

My humble and honor
Even only seeing upon you
Just like as you glimpsed to those wishing stars

Thou I must seek to face it now
As the truth is not viable to be

(The story ends where the Knight bows for honor to the Princess with a sealed lip and yet an ego)

Inspired and Written by Sitty