The Keeper of the Darkest Secrets.....

Keeper of the darkest secrets, only you know the truth that is in the depths of my soul. The hurt and pain that I am going thru now..it cuts deep into my heart. The only thing you want to be is the perfect friend for everyone in their life. But sometimes it just somehow ends up in a broken trusted relationship. The feeling is unbearable. Why is that so? Why does it always end up this way? I'm broken inside. My heart cannot take it any more. I praised them and respected them and this is what i have gotten in return...and all I only ever wanted to be is a friend....I guess sometimes in life not everyone remembers the good you have done for them only a very rare handful of them does. Its sad and it hurts to see it that way. Sometimes you wish that revenge and unleashing the demon inside is the best option to get back at them. But really what would you get out of it? Ego Satisfaction? Maybe, but don't you think that its just being plain idiotic? The only other way is to forgive and forget what has been done and only be more careful the next time. Thus, I am Blessed to have found you to share my secrets and know that it will remain there forever without even a word spoken. And I know that you will always be there for me....

Accepting changes...

The past 3 weeks have been tough for me. Living alone away from someone that you really love is not easy. Eating on the fact that you only have the time to see him/her once a week..not easy for me to swallow. But looking on the brightside of things..it will only make our love even stronger than before...thus, I have to accept the change in my life today without you....for how long more will this last??

The Dream....

I had the strangest dream 2 nights ago. I was driving in my car and rushing to cross the border before they had closed for the night. On my way there, there was this red honda civic in front of me and hell it was swaying from side to side. Then all of a sudden the car just crashed into something (which i couldn't remember what) and every passenger that was in the car was thrown out. There were like 7 of them all lying dead on the road. The funny thing was I didn't even bother to stop and just drove thru them avoiding each body that was in my way. When I got to the border, everyone had to get out of their car and walk into the immigration office to get their passport stamped. Now this is the wierd part.....as I entered the immigration office, I saw a friend of mine doing a demonstration on how to cook something (which again I can't remember what but it sure smelled damn good)...I was puzzled..lol..I was like ok..immigration and cooking demo..hahahaha interesting...so I got my passport stamped and just sat there watching the cook demo...lol..that's about all that I can remember of my dream...strange isn't it? lol...

Far Away......

When you're attached to someone whom you want to spent your whole life with, it feels empty when their not around you. Sometimes I feel life is so unfair and that we have to live it the way it wants us too. Sacrifices you have to make when your in love is just sometimes too painful to live it. When you make a commitment you have to live with it no matter how difficult it becomes. But life is a challenge which we must take and face everyday of our lives. I guess being far away from you makes our love stronger each day as we cherish each moment when we're together as the time we have with each other is so limited. I wish the time would just stop but life is fair and it will go on as it has been for as long as we live. Being far away from you is never going to change anything as my love for you has anchored in the depths of your soul...So to those of you who are always closed to your love ones, you are blessed. Love them and cherish every single moment with them..you know that we are all just given one chance in our life and that's the life that we are living now....

The Return

Its been awhile since I've last posted anything..hehe...well I thought I should at least write something today since I have like 10 mins before lunch ends...so...here we go... I had a great weekend last week not because of the Jazz Festival which everyone is bragging about but because it was Mother's day. Treated her to a nice Lunch..I hope she was happy.. She's taught me so many things in life and brought me up to be the woman I am today. There's so much more to say like what a Blessing I have to have a mother like her. Sometimes I just wish I could just give her everything in life and I hope that wish will come soon. Every moment spent with her is always cherishing. I can only say one thing and that is I LOVE HER so very much...I have dedicated this song to my Mother and to her only for the rest of my life...the words are just so meaningful...and it is just the perfect song for her...


A SONG FOR MAMA

You taught me everything
And everything you've given me
I always keep it inside
You're the driving force in my life, yeah

There isn't anything
Or anyone that I can be
And it just wouldn't feel right
If I didn't have you by my side

You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were grey
Whenever I was down
You were always there to comfort me
And no one else can be what you have been to me
You will always be you always will be the girl
In my life for all times

Mama, mama you know I love you
Oh you know I love you
Mama, mama you're the queen of my heart
Your love is like
Tears from the stars
Mama, I just want you to know
Lovin' you is like food to my soul

You're always down for me
Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong
Yes you did

And you took up for me
When everyone was downin' me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on

There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me
And say to me I can face anything
And no one else can do
What you have done for me
You'll always be
You will always be the girl in my life

Never gonna go a day without you
Fills me up just thinking about you
I'd never go a day without my mama

Music & Lyrics by Boyz II Men

Her Heart Hath Spoken...

My Knight....
How handsome and brave thou art
The blood of many hast thou slayed
I pray that thine armor may safeguard thee
For thy protection is what concerns thy lady

How my heart longs for thee
To meet the longing of my deepest soul
Each night I wait and wish upon the stars
That thou may cometh forth to call upon thy lady
Only to find that each night ends without thine presence

Do thou O' Knight seek thine lady's secret?
The hidden truth of thee unspoken?
If thus then hope, but speaketh silence
Then in thine heart wilt thou seek thine triumph....

The Wish

Milady oh my
Shall it not be spoken
But nay it could be denied

Awaken from a deep sorrow
By only a whisper
Brushes to this soul

The glitters of your sole uniqueness
That’s an inspirational
Enough to resolve the missing puzzle

I speak no foul
Nor I speak with gladness
As you are bond with another

There I saw you out your window
Watching upon the stars
Your eyes reveal as it shine
Straight to this heart

Screamed of words in silentness
As my love is forbid to yours

My humble and honor
Even only seeing upon you
Just like as you glimpsed to those wishing stars

Thou I must seek to face it now
As the truth is not viable to be

(The story ends where the Knight bows for honor to the Princess with a sealed lip and yet an ego)

Inspired and Written by Sitty